How to deal with negative emotions

Many of us were raised in environments that emphasize the importance of controlling or suppressing emotions. There's often an expectation to toughen up and don’t show any vulnerability because it means we are weak or a failure. However, research into the nature of emotions reveals that core emotions are not under conscious control. This understanding highlights that experiencing emotions is a natural part of being human and does not indicate weakness. 

Emotions arise within us in response to a variety of stimuli, including people, places, objects, situations, and energies from the external world, as well as personal thoughts—both conscious and subconscious—about those stimuli. When faced with a stimulus, a physiological reaction occurs, which is often felt as an emotional response. This felt experience contains valuable information.  

Unfortunately, often the information embedded within emotions remains largely subconscious, we don’t usually take the time to bring it to conscious awareness.

But emotions provide information about one's environment and personal experiences, particularly regarding personal truths and desires. They matter deeply and play a crucial role in our lives. By becoming aware of these emotions, we can initiate meaningful changes across various aspects of our lives, including relationships, home life, social interactions, and work situations.

Most of the times, we are afraid to make these changes. We believe these changes will signify an ending. But they do not always signify an ending; rather, they can involve the introduction of new elements that enhance our well-being. For example, if one partner recognizes that they often feel anxious or neglected in the relationship, this awareness can prompt them to express their feelings openly. Instead of withdrawing, they may initiate a heartfelt conversation about their needs. This newfound openness can lead both partners to explore ways to improve their communication, create regular check-ins, and actively listen to each other. As a result, the relationship can flourish, fostering deeper intimacy and understanding.

However, sometimes, it might indicate an ending. . For example, if we realize that we struggle with the harshness or coldness of certain people, and despite our efforts to communicate how deeply it affects us, they remain unchanged, we might choose to let go of them. This recognition can lead us to consciously seek out connections with those who embody qualities of softness and gentleness, creating a supportive environment that nurtures our well-being.

To make a long story short, becoming aware of the information behind our emotions can help us improve our life and make changes that are conducive to our well being.

So when dealing with negative emotions, there are concrete steps we can take to address those emotions and develop intimacy with them.

Intimacy is to see, feel, hear and understand something.

1. Find a place where you feel safe and uninterrupted.

   
   

2. Become aware of what you feel and what is alive within you. 

   
   

3. Care about your emotion by accepting it as valid and essential.

   
   

4. Without trying to change the emotion, witness it. 

   
   

5. Allow it to arise and embrace it fully.

   
   

6. You can find a word to describe it, for example, anger, sadness, or fear. 

   
   

7. You can say things like: I am learning to be present with you. You are not alone. I am here now. I am learning how to love you and understand you. If you are here, there must be an important reason.

   
   

8. Be present as much as you need.

   Remember that emotions are energy and want to be seen, understood, felt and witnessed. When we give the gift of intimacy of fully seeing, feeling and witnessing them, they allow this energy to move. 

To effectively process and engage deeper with your emotions,

consider creating a nice atmosphere like a safe haven physically and energetically. 

Here are some examples: 

Energy Healing. Energy healing can create a nurturing space, a container where you can comfortably sit with your emotions, allowing them to be felt and released in their own time. Energy healing can be seen as a gentle, sacred cloth that envelops you, offering a sense of safety and support. It can also assist in clearing out energies that are ready to be released, fostering a sense of harmony and clarity. To incorporate energy healing into your emotional journey, you can explore practicing it on your own or ask a friend or professional healer.

Minimalist Space: Transform your environment by removing unnecessary items and distractions, emphasizing simplicity and tranquility. This approach can foster a serene atmosphere conducive to emotional clarity and processing.

Consider incorporating my light language symbol and articles about decluttering that can guide you in this process!

Quiet Space: Create a quiet space in your home where you can retreat without distractions. This could be a cozy corner or room with comfortable seating, soft lighting, soft blankets, pillows, or a favorite piece of art. This can be a place to retreat when you need emotional solace.

Ritual Bathing: Take a warm bath with soothing elements like herbs, essential oils, salt, candles, or soft music. This can be a ritual of emotional release, processing shock and calming your nervous system.

Outdoor Sanctuary: Seek a place in nature where you feel safe and supported. Whether it's a garden, a quiet spot in the woods, or near any body of water, this natural setting can serve as a retreat for contemplation and relaxation, allowing you to connect with your emotions in a peaceful environment. Be aware of distractions and interruptions. 

To effectively process and engage more deeply with your emotions, consider incorporating walking into your routine.

Walking is one of the most effective ways to regulate your nervous system. As we walk, our eyes naturally move from side to side, a phenomenon known as bilateral eye movements. This motion engages both hemispheres of the brain simultaneously—our left hemisphere, responsible for logic, and our right hemisphere, which governs emotions. When these two parts of the brain work together, we can process trauma and stressful emotions more effectively, facilitating healing and emotional clarity.

In addition to these suggestions, it’s important to trust your intuition and understand what you need personally. Your unique preferences will help you process your emotions and create the environment that best supports you.

It's essential to recognize that emotions are a natural and integral part of the human experience. There is no need to feel ashamed of your feelings or to suppress them. Embracing and acknowledging your emotions can foster a deeper and more meaningful relationship with yourself and others, leading to a richer life that truly reflects who you are.

Emotions matter. Those who made you believe otherwise may have been conditioned to think that emotions are unimportant, and they perpetuated this misconception. Now is the time to break free from that narrative and release these limiting beliefs. Holding onto the idea that emotions don’t matter not only harms us individually but also impacts our society as a whole.