The Excellence Muse
- Lila Tzoli
- May 14, 2024
- 4 min read
Updated: Feb 22
One fundamental desire we all share is to be recognized for our excellence. We want to be seen for our unique talents and the contributions we can make to the world. However, many of us find ourselves surrounded by people who do not acknowledge our gifts.
Here are some reasons why our excellence might go unrecognized:
Cultural Values and Beliefs:
Cultural values profoundly influence how excellence is perceived and acknowledged. In cultures that prioritize family, for instance, people may feel pressured to conform to familial expectations. Picture Petros, who is destined to be a scientist but comes from a family that owns a restaurant. In a culture that emphasizes family loyalty, he might be expected to take over the restaurant to honor his family ties. In such an environment, his scientific potential may be overlooked, discouraged, or even dismissed, leading him to suppress his gifts for the sake of belonging.
Delving deeper, we see that values stem from needs. If maintaining close family ties is important to someone, they will likely take actions that keep their loved ones near, often devaluing pursuits that could lead to separation.
Stretching Others’ Realities:
Sometimes, our excellence can challenge the comfort of those around us. Suppose you excel at bringing awareness and truth to light. If your best friend values comfort and resists change, she may reject any truth that threatens her sense of stability. To her, truth can feel destabilizing and destructive, leading her to push away anything that could shake her life.
Recognition of our value frequently depends on the needs of others as well as how our excellence aligns with their desires. What do I mean by that? Imagine being a skilled abstract artist in a war-torn country—your artistic talents may go unnoticed because people are focused on survival, not aesthetics. Conversely, if you possess medical knowledge, you would likely be welcomed with open arms. This doesn’t diminish the painter’s worth; it simply highlights how the environment and the needs of the people in it shape recognition.
Our environment plays a crucial role in how our excellence is acknowledged. We cannot force others to appreciate what we bring to the table, but we can seek out spaces where our talents are valued and needed.
Unfortunately, as children, we often prioritize our social circles over our inherent excellence. This desire for belonging can lead us to suppress our true selves, expressing our gifts only in private spaces where no one is watching. As a result, we may hide our natural abilities to fit in.
As adults, we may continue to distance ourselves from our excellence, fearing the potential consequences of embracing our authentic selves. We worry that doing so might alienate us from our loved ones, and this fear is entirely understandable.
The unfortunate reality is that we can be born into environments—families, cultures, or societies—that do not align with our unique gifts. When our excellence conflicts with the values of those around us, the thought of changing our familiar surroundings and looking for other people can trigger our attachment-based self-preservation instincts. Attachment is a hardwired primal self-preservation intelligence that starts in utero and lasts throughout one’s lifetime. Our well-being depends on us forming attachments with others and having affiliations with groups. Our attachments are a way to be emotionally nourished (or it can be the cause of starvation). Attachment is arguably the single most important regulator of our lives and it is understandable to feel scared and uncertain when we think we will lose our familiar connections.
This Spirit Lady is here to bring you some good news. She is here to remind you that there are people and communities ready to support you and recognize your excellence. However, it’s important to understand that embracing our true selves often brings both acceptance and challenges. Along the way, you may encounter rejection, ignorance, or negative mirroring, but these contrasts are crucial for your growth and expansion; they are integral to our life journey.
You should not give up. Instead remember that life supports all beings according to their true nature. Just as bees, despite their small wings, can soar and carry their weight, and plants receive the right light—whether in open fields or shaded forests—tailored to their growth needs, we too will find the support we need to thrive in our unique paths. Life is here to nurture us as we embrace your excellence.
This Spirit Lady serves as a reminder of your excellence. Your gifts are inborn, imbued within you, and are absolutely vital to the world. While you can always develop these talents, they are already there, ready to be embraced.
She also offers understanding to the parts of you that resist and fear your excellence. This is a tender acknowledgment of your inner child, who may have longed to be seen and appreciated but felt overlooked. It’s a compassionate touch for that part of you that still expresses its gifts when alone, yet fears sharing them with the world.
She also offers a beautiful activation to the parts of you that struggle to recognize their own value, often because of lack of mirroring or harsh judgement.
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